Dual....:-)
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
Randomize
