...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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