Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
