I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Randomize
