I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
