I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
