Things I've learned: after you move in with a girl it's much less satisfying to wipe your dick on her sheets after sex because now they're your sheets too
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
