I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I checked into jail on foursquare
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Randomize
