the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Randomize
