ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
