Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I am midnight drunk by noon
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Randomize
