He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Randomize
