I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
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