He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
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