Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
