I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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