In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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