I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Randomize