I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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