This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Randomize
