i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
