Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
