Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
