Well douche your snatch and let's go!
I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
Randomize
