Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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