you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
