69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Randomize
