i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize
