If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
