I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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