I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
