the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize