You just made me feel so damn special
i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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