could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
