I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize