I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
