I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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