my soul wont recognize me after tonight
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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