His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
