school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
where are you?
Hypothermia
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
