STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
