We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
