we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
What did we do last night that was yellow?
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
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