Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
