In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
