i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
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