So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
