if i can run in heels then i can drive
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
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