The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
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