alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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