why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
