need another drink. this is the easiest way
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
Randomize
