So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Dear god my vagina.
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