Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Never joke about your clitoris.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
