Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Randomize
