I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
