And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
