just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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