i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Randomize
