He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
