Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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