I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
