I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize