i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize