im at the bar and i misjudged a fart...go home or ride the night out?Never mind, the bouncer made the decision for me...be home soon
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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