3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
sitting in my room eating a boneless rib tv dinner, and listening to taylor swift's love story, and i sharted. had to finish the ribs and hear the end of the song before i went to the bathroom to wipe.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
