sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's never too late to be topless.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Randomize
