She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Randomize
