Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
Randomize