Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
