Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
