my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
