Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
