Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
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