So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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